I had a dream that my husband and I got back together. Surprisingly enough, this is the first time I've dreamed this since we separated and I think it's a product of him spending so much time here lately. He was here all weekend, sleeping here, etc. I'm not complaining -- it was fun. We all spent time as a 'family' and did things. The reason he gave for staying was because it's our oldest daughters birthday.
In this dream where we got back together, I wasn't unhappy about it except that I knew what it meant -- I couldn't hang out with and be friends with certain other people in my life. In my dream, since my husband and I got back together, I had to give us these people and I was really sad about it. I wasn't suppose to answer the phone if these people called and they did, in my dream. But I didn't want to stop being friends with these certain friends, though I understand why I would have to UN-friend them IF this situation wasn't in my dreams.
I'm not sure how I felt about it. No, I am sure how I felt about it -- I woke up and I felt sad.
The feelings I feel about this man are very confusing.
On one hand, I love him -- I want to be with him. We had so many plans to grow old together and it's hard to just forget that or act like they didn't exist.
On the other hand, I knew when we got married that it wasn't going to last forever. I know that probably sounds horrible and people will be like, "if you knew it then, why did you get married??" That question in itself is a complicated one.
The bottom line is that I do love him -- but I don't want anymore hurt for either of us. Also, I know my feelings and I'm fighting them because my feelings (gut, head, heart) are leading me AWAY from what I know is best for me and my girls.
On a different note, Jenkins and I were talking about ghosts and the supernatural the other night.
What I love about Jenkins is that we totally have the same beliefs about things and he's easy to talk too.
Well, I showed him the message from the time I had my chart read (What? It was free!) and since I hadn't read it in a few years, it was actually fun to re-read.
Direct quotes from parts of my chart are italicized.
You are interested in the dark side of life, being attracted to the occult and any mystery that remains unsolved. The mystery of life captivates you and with your Gemini Sun, you'd be a fantastic researcher or scientist. Mercury in Cancer gives you a deep, penetrating mind that loves to go "below the surface" and you can sense things more easily than you can reason them out.
That was one of the first things she'd said about my chart. The part about being interested in "the dark side of life" and "any mystery that remains unsolved" is very true.
Your partners and close relations in this life will cause you much upheaval and many emotional challenges. Your partner in life may in fact be your teacher. At any rate, you will learn a great deal from your relationships. They will affect you profoundly on an emotional level and possibly turn your
whole world upside down.
I think you learn something from EVERY relationship you have. "Your partner in life may in fact be your teacher" -- I am not going to take that literally. I like smart men -- I prefer my man to be 'smarter' than me, as it were. Maybe not even smart but more common sense.
My favorite thing she says:
"Let life do what it will. You will be luckier than most at many times in your life. Enjoy it!"
I do feel luckier than most. I do feel very privileged and lucky. Also, what she said about my money situation is true too.
"You must be aware that your financial situation fluctuates a lot even on a good day... Sometimes it will seem like you couldn't find a penny on the planet. And then, suddenly, money falls out of the sky."
which is very oddly true -- and I've ALWAYS thought that. I've never been very worried about money.
There was a lot of other things she said about my chart -- it was really long and informative.
I'm not even sure I believe in astrology but it was fun to have my chart read.
ANNNND LAST BUT NOT LEAST:
Today is my oldest daughters birthday and my birthday is on Tuesday. We didn't throw her a huge party or anything so she's really upset that it's been a boring day. I've promised her that she's going to have a birthday WEEK (we'll go swimming one day, to the movies one day, bowling one day, etc.) before we go to Arkansas for a few weeks.
I wish money would fall from the sky so I could throw her a huge birthday party but I can't.
Song of the Day:
For Hanna-Banana :-) HAPPY 8th BIRTHDAY!
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