I had a whole child-free weekend. They don't come around very often but since this whole husband-going-overseas things is happening, his family wanted to see him before he leaves. AND he got the bright (and wise) idea to take the kids with him. So I decided to go and see my friends.
I had him from me off at my friends house about 4 hours into the trip.
It was so good to see her. I NEVER see her. I've known her for almost ten years. She's my closest, oldest best friend. What I love about her (which is the same thing that I love about ALL my 'best' friends -- which is approximately 4-ish people) is that I know she doesn't judge me and she knows that she can say anything to me and I'll still love her regardless.
I had so much fun with her all weekend. We sang for about two days straight -- sometimes drinking but mostly not. We met people and reunited with friends. There was even a bbq that I didn't make it too.
I also didn't make it to church with her and my cavalier attitude about Jesus H. Christ offended some people.
BUT I did tell her cousins nine-year-old son about my high school experiences in detention -- yes, I told him the plot to The Breakfast Club and gave him ideas on how to sneak out of his house (when he's 17 -- I made sure to specify and clarify NOT to do it now) from Ferris Bueller. I can't wait until one day when he's watching those movies and he's like, "... the hell?!" I'm only sad I won't be there.
It was a pretty good weekend and we're home now. After a ten hour car ride that involved (only) two mild arguments with the hubs, I am ready for bed and it's barely 6pm.
My new friend and I sang this song together for karaoke and I have to say, we pretty much ROCKED the whole situation:
Monday, May 30, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Sprinker Redemption
On ten o'clock on a Sunday, I decided I needed to get out of the house. My sister and I had cleaned all day -- it was "getting prepared to move" cleaning and it lasted all day practically. There was laundry and sorting and purging stuff.
I picked up "Constance", my most favorite partner in crime and we wanted to do something crazy. Constance's idea was to run through some sprinklers but by the time I got off the phone with my other friend, the sprinkler was off.
We live next to a golf course and the sprinklers were on there. So what did we do?! Yep, we went and ran through the sprinklers. Since it was Day After the Supposed Rapture, we made jokes about the sprinklers essentially baptising us -- which caused the very Jewish Constance to break out into what I'm sure is the ONLY Christian hymn she knows. Our sins were washed away by the pesticide-laced golf sprinklers and I'm pretty sure I've been redeemed.
Evidence of this can be seen in the events that took place after Sunday.
First of all, we're not moving to Austin. My (future ex?) husband came in and said he found out that while he's overseas, we can stay in our current house -- and then he said, "I never put my foot down but I'm putting my foot down now! This would be best for the kids!" like he expected me to argue with him. Not moving would be best for the kids -- especially if they're going to be missing their father for a year.
This means that I can finish school. I am very happy and grateful to be able to do this.
Staying where we are now benefits me in so many ways that I don't deserve. I am not complaining though.
Second of all, we are going home this weekend. My kids are going with my husband to see his mother, brother, etc. I am going so I can see MY grandma AND my friends. I am very excited about seeing my friends. It was an impromptu mini-vacation that is working out almost perfectly. Like, eerily perfect.
Clip of the DAY:
I really feel like I can relate to the movie 'Easy A' - especially after some of the things that have happened in the past five months and all the crazy rumors that I've heard about myself. And also, the fact that I don't even care about the rumors I hear about me. For Olive, she ends up having to admit she lied because it got so bad. Thankfully, I'm not in high school and so technically, I don't have to address anything. People can just think what they want. The people who know and love me (much like Olive and Woodchuck/Lobster Todd) know the truth about me, who I am and how I am and accept it. Those are the people I want in my life.
However, thanks to the golf course sprinklers and Constance's Christian hymn, I have been redeemed.
I picked up "Constance", my most favorite partner in crime and we wanted to do something crazy. Constance's idea was to run through some sprinklers but by the time I got off the phone with my other friend, the sprinkler was off.
We live next to a golf course and the sprinklers were on there. So what did we do?! Yep, we went and ran through the sprinklers. Since it was Day After the Supposed Rapture, we made jokes about the sprinklers essentially baptising us -- which caused the very Jewish Constance to break out into what I'm sure is the ONLY Christian hymn she knows. Our sins were washed away by the pesticide-laced golf sprinklers and I'm pretty sure I've been redeemed.
Evidence of this can be seen in the events that took place after Sunday.
First of all, we're not moving to Austin. My (future ex?) husband came in and said he found out that while he's overseas, we can stay in our current house -- and then he said, "I never put my foot down but I'm putting my foot down now! This would be best for the kids!" like he expected me to argue with him. Not moving would be best for the kids -- especially if they're going to be missing their father for a year.
This means that I can finish school. I am very happy and grateful to be able to do this.
Staying where we are now benefits me in so many ways that I don't deserve. I am not complaining though.
Second of all, we are going home this weekend. My kids are going with my husband to see his mother, brother, etc. I am going so I can see MY grandma AND my friends. I am very excited about seeing my friends. It was an impromptu mini-vacation that is working out almost perfectly. Like, eerily perfect.
Clip of the DAY:
I really feel like I can relate to the movie 'Easy A' - especially after some of the things that have happened in the past five months and all the crazy rumors that I've heard about myself. And also, the fact that I don't even care about the rumors I hear about me. For Olive, she ends up having to admit she lied because it got so bad. Thankfully, I'm not in high school and so technically, I don't have to address anything. People can just think what they want. The people who know and love me (much like Olive and Woodchuck/Lobster Todd) know the truth about me, who I am and how I am and accept it. Those are the people I want in my life.
However, thanks to the golf course sprinklers and Constance's Christian hymn, I have been redeemed.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Happy Anniversary
Today is our 9 year anniversary.
Yesterday, my friends and I spent the day in Austin (the new city I want to move to) looking at apartments, in case I actually get one of the jobs on Monday/Tuesday. We found an affordable townhouse in a good part of town and the guy who showed us the apartment was really pretty. I immediately called him for "my team" (which is our version of "dibs") -- something which my friends can attest that I rarely do. "My team" is virtually empty -- with the exception of this guy, Ian Somerhalder, and some random "dork" at the mall.
I actually didn't think the guy at the mall was "dork"-esqe but apparently he was, according my friend. It's okay -- I'm attracted to nerdy boys.
So the townhouse is really affordable and in a good part of town. It's three bedroom -- one bedroom downstairs, two upstairs. The master bedroom is upstairs. The rooms are pretty good size. The whole apartment is 1618sq.ft..
The bad thing: it won't be available until July. If I get a job before then, I'll have to drive back and forth (an hour-two hours) every day. It will be a commute.
My (future ex) husband seems to think that after he moves overseas, the money he gives me for "child support" (he's giving me the whole housing allowence - BAH and that's all) is all he'll ever need to give me. Technically, if we were still together, he'd have to give me the BAH anyway. At any rate, I'm very grateful that he is giving me all the BAH since it's a good amount of money but I said something about school clothes, school supplies, birthdays and holidays. He was like, "well, if you are nice to me, we'll see." The things our children NEEDS, he'll THINK about helping me with IF I'm nice to him. Yep.
I desperately want one of those jobs -- ANY job where I'm not just making minimum wage forever.
Ingrid Michaelson is apparently the singer for the soundtrack of my (current) life.
Yesterday, my friends and I spent the day in Austin (the new city I want to move to) looking at apartments, in case I actually get one of the jobs on Monday/Tuesday. We found an affordable townhouse in a good part of town and the guy who showed us the apartment was really pretty. I immediately called him for "my team" (which is our version of "dibs") -- something which my friends can attest that I rarely do. "My team" is virtually empty -- with the exception of this guy, Ian Somerhalder, and some random "dork" at the mall.
I actually didn't think the guy at the mall was "dork"-esqe but apparently he was, according my friend. It's okay -- I'm attracted to nerdy boys.
So the townhouse is really affordable and in a good part of town. It's three bedroom -- one bedroom downstairs, two upstairs. The master bedroom is upstairs. The rooms are pretty good size. The whole apartment is 1618sq.ft..
The bad thing: it won't be available until July. If I get a job before then, I'll have to drive back and forth (an hour-two hours) every day. It will be a commute.
My (future ex) husband seems to think that after he moves overseas, the money he gives me for "child support" (he's giving me the whole housing allowence - BAH and that's all) is all he'll ever need to give me. Technically, if we were still together, he'd have to give me the BAH anyway. At any rate, I'm very grateful that he is giving me all the BAH since it's a good amount of money but I said something about school clothes, school supplies, birthdays and holidays. He was like, "well, if you are nice to me, we'll see." The things our children NEEDS, he'll THINK about helping me with IF I'm nice to him. Yep.
I desperately want one of those jobs -- ANY job where I'm not just making minimum wage forever.
Ingrid Michaelson is apparently the singer for the soundtrack of my (current) life.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
When Harry Met Sally
I was trolling through blogs, just reading the crap strangers are putting out there. I have to say, if I find one more blog about "The Hutchinsons Happy Home" or "The Thurman Three" and all these proud and happy familes and how they manage to find positive words that begin with the first letter of their last names, I might throw up. I could be bitter but I doubt it. I think I'm right about this.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Divorce
I'm getting divorced.
HISTORY of US:
First of all, he's very angry. Yeah, I'm brokenhearted. I miss him, I love him. But he's angry and unpredictable. Plus, he refuses to take responsiblity for HIS actions. He says that what I did was "way worse" than his "innocent" chatting with (and sending presents too, while he was deployed) and making plans to see other girls on the internet.
Maybe I am worse. I don't know.
Every day is an emotional rollercoaster. I never know if it's going to be a good day or a bad day. It might start out really good -- and one phone call from him ruins my whole day. All he does is yell at me right now.
Today wasn't bad -- I'm assuming it's because I'm "being very reasonable" today. Yes, he told me that I'm being "reasonable" today -- I'm not being any different than I was yesterday when we got into a fight and he left the house screaming, "F*ck you, Rachel! F*ck you!" -- thankfully our children was at our neighbors house when that happened.
Tomorrow might be bad or it might be good. Really, at this point, it's a crapshoot.
HISTORY of US:
- We've been together almost 9 years.
- We've only been married 5 but we were together for 9 years.
- We have two children. He's in the military.
- I refuse to take FULL and total responsibility for the demise of my marrige
- BUT I'm the one who wanted a divorce
- We never had a real wedding
- We decided to get married because he joined the Army and he wanted our first born (and at the time, our ONLY) daughter "and me" to go with him.
- and when we got our marriage license, I asked him to sit down and talk to me about getting married. To which he respond by yelling, 'We can get married or not -- it doesn't matter to me. You need to decide." And he wonders why I never believe he loved me.
- The whole time we were together, he was actively talking to other girls on the internet. Should it matter to me that he lied to them about his situation, therefore it's not like he could ever REALLY be with them? No. The only time he wasn't actively talking to other females was this last year -- and I'm sure that is only because I didn't catch him.
- I'm 25 years old (26 in June!)
- My husband and I got together a month before I turned 17
- I am two semesters away from finishing college
- I have an insatiable sense of adventure
- and I fall in love easily -- with everything or anything
- I forgive way too easily
- I do not believe the actions I took were right, just because of the things he did to me
First of all, he's very angry. Yeah, I'm brokenhearted. I miss him, I love him. But he's angry and unpredictable. Plus, he refuses to take responsiblity for HIS actions. He says that what I did was "way worse" than his "innocent" chatting with (and sending presents too, while he was deployed) and making plans to see other girls on the internet.
Maybe I am worse. I don't know.
Every day is an emotional rollercoaster. I never know if it's going to be a good day or a bad day. It might start out really good -- and one phone call from him ruins my whole day. All he does is yell at me right now.
Today wasn't bad -- I'm assuming it's because I'm "being very reasonable" today. Yes, he told me that I'm being "reasonable" today -- I'm not being any different than I was yesterday when we got into a fight and he left the house screaming, "F*ck you, Rachel! F*ck you!" -- thankfully our children was at our neighbors house when that happened.
Tomorrow might be bad or it might be good. Really, at this point, it's a crapshoot.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)