two different things.

I told Constance that for her birthday, I'd be a 'yes man'. I honestly thought it would be easy -- because I thought I was pretty crazy and outgoing. I couldn't IMAGINE that there would be something she could ask me to do that I wouldn't have done anyway, had I not been a Yes Man.

After the night started, I had to be reminded plenty of times that I agreed to be a 'yes man'.
At the restaurant we went to before the partying, our waiter was sexy. I THINK his name was Blake? Bruce? I have no idea. But he was really cute. One of my friends said his butt was cute and I said that I should tell him that she said his butt was cute and to turn around so I can see. I laughed because I was joking but then someone said, 'Oh, you said you were a yes man so you have to do it." SO I did it.
Another time, they were dancing in the window at one bar and she told me to get in the window to. I kind of laughed and shook my head. Constance reminded me that I was a yes man. I got in the window and danced.
There was this huge group of men -- all of them wearing "Kyle's Party" shirts (I'm not actually sure what the shirts said) and I was asked to go pretend to be an almost-bride and get a picture with them. This was night two and we were exhausted and  not really on a partying level. I said I would do it but I needed more time. A real bridal party walked in and got pictures. We ran into them on the street and I got my picture there. I actually got my butt grabbed, kissed a guy on the cheek AND got a picture so it was win-win.

I'm sure there were more times when I was asked to do something and declined and then I HAD to do it anyway. Every time I declined to do something, I had forgot I was a yes man. None of it was too bad -- or else I wouldn't have done it.

Needless to say, Constance's birthday was pretty awesome.
She suggested we all do themes for our birthday and I agreed. Hers was '80s.
I'm still thinking about my theme. I'll keep you updated on that.

My children are having a sleepover with one of my best friends and neighbor tonight and I'm here, all alone. I keep thinking about my exhusband and how much our kids miss him.

He's exactly the kind of man that I would want to be the father of my children. He loves them. He wouldn't ever abandon them. I would like to thinkbelieve he wouldn't anyway. He loves them.

I'm having the hardest time getting over him. I thought it would be easier and for a while there, I was completely sure that I was as over it as I was going to get. I was fine and ready to move on. I feel like I had a complete and total relapse and it's like my heart is broken all over again. I don't want to be with anyone else, I don't want to date anyone else. I'm not talking to anybody. Even when I TRY to talk to guy, I just can't. I just can't.

I don't know what my problem is. I don't know what happened.
Every time a man looks at me, I get annoyed.
I don't know what my problem is.

I hope I figure it out soon though. All these emotions are making me emotional.