it's been a hot minute.

I haven't blogged in forever.
FOREVER.
I've heard I exaggerate too much. I guess if more than one person independently says I exaggerate too much, then perhaps I do.
I like to think of it as my overactive imagination getting the best of me.
It's too much for people sometimes. It's too much for ME sometimes.

ANYWAY!!!
In April I had decided my Halloween goal was to lose 44lbs.
Unfortunately, I've only lost about HALF of that (approximately 20lbs, give or take depending on the day). There is still roughly SIX weeks to go to lose the rest of it -- 24lbs. I'm hopeful. Six weeks is a long time and in June, I lost 10lbs in two weeks by doing nothing except eating super small amounts of food and only drinking water.
The human body doesn't need much food to survive. We over-eat all the time. I ate too much today -- and I feel so gross, I feel like I should be sweating just from breathing.
Personally, I think three meals a day is way too much. In June, I cut it down to ONE 'meal' a day but mostly light snacking throughout the day. I'll probably go back to that.
I really feel like I've got this. Before I started this post, I was iffy about it but after writing all this out and figuring out how much time I have and whatnot, I'm starting to feel optimistic about it again.
Currently, the amount of weight I've lost total is approximately 52lbs from March 2011.
That's... you know, good. I feel like I could do better.

I have a job now (bank teller) so that really limits the amount of time I have to work out. My time is stretched thin between work, my kids and various other people in my life. BUT even if I don't have time to make it to the gym, I have a whole 'gated community' at my disposal. It's starting to cool off outside. I'm probably going to have my children walk with me. That way they can exercise too AND spend time with me. Two birds, one stone. I told you I got this.
My oldest has an MP3 player. If I'm going to make them work out with me, perhaps I need to get my youngest one an MP3 player too.

I've been feeling very negative lately. Trying to find childcare so I can work stresses me out. I'm putting my kids in an after-school program AND work transferred me to another branch with hours more kid-friendly. I have amazing people who help me also but it still stresses me out. I'm working on it though. I'm coming back 'round and thankfully, it's all getting figured out.
I hate relying on other people because I still feel like other people will let you down and disappoint you so it's better to figure out everything on your own -- and then MAYBE let other people help. I always need a Plan B.

Other than that, I really do love life right now. I have future plans.
I haven't forgotten my BITT Goals. I'm working on them slowly and steadily.
I am happy.