how to get in my pants 2

I know in the first 'how to get in my pants', I said 'don't crowd me'.
This is for the ones who made it past lesson one.

If you've made it past lesson ONE, we're moving on to:

Lesson Two

The Lost Art of the Chase

     I am not familiar with the rules of a one-night stand. I know how I like being treated in general by my potential sex partners but I'm not sure if the rules are different for a one-night stand. I don't understand one-night stand in general -- only because I legitimately cannot sleep with someone I don't know or that I'm not sure they care about me in some way. The farthest I've ever gotten was to their place. Once there, I just couldn't go through with it. I'm not a good choice for a one-night stand. I just don't understand them, nor do I want to participate in them.

     I've talked a lot about romance and fairy tales and what it all boils down to is being chased. Maybe that's why I don't like one-night stands -- there really is no 'chase'. Sleeping Beauty is clearly not easy to get to. The prince had to fight through an overgrown forest and a witch-dragon, I think -- and what did he do that for? I'd like to think the answer is 'for love' but I'm almost certain it's because Charming wanted to bang a princess. After all, he certainly earned it.

      Maybe it's cynical for me to believe that men don't really do anything for love and that Charming rescued his princess for sex but it's more realistic to me to believe that than that he did it for love. Why does anyone do anything? Sex. Period. I'm almost positive we can trace every war, every conflict, every problem anywhere back to sex. I'm just sayin'.

      I don't understand why some girls give it up more freely than other. 'It' obviously meaning 'sex'. It doesn't help me at all that other girls are way way way easier than I am. If anything, it makes me seem like a challenge.
     My sister is friends with some teenage (18+) guys. They come over here and they talk about all these girls and all the things their friends did in high school. Yes, I am going to assume about half of it is made up but even eliminating HALF of their crap, there is still A LOT of sex going on with these kids. I feel like a prude -- AND like a challenge.  
      I told one of them that I'm not that girl -- I'm not the girl you leave, I'm the girl you marry. I've been told that before, that I'm not the girl you just f*ck and flee. I wouldn't allow myself to be in that position anyway but it was certainly nice to hear from someone without me having to say it first. Ha.

     I guess my bottom line is -- I want to be chased and feel desired. I mean, if I'm attracted to you, I'm not going to play hard-to-get (after you get me) but I don't want to be the only one going out of my way. I can never find someone who makes me feel as good (not sexually, guys! Quit being filthy!) as I make the guys I'm attracted to feel. I always make the guys feel special, telling them how cute they are, how smart they are, going out of my way to be with them, etc.. I treat them fairly decent and I'm low-drama (if you ask anyone except my exhusband) and I'm funny as hell. Add that up and I feel like I'm always working on other people (I mean, men -- my friends actually listen to a lot of my bullshizz). That's fine. I don't say things I don't mean (as a rule - to ANYONE) so I'm genuine.
      The problem is it's hard to find a guy who makes me feel special. I build people up. I can build myself up (trust me, I have no problem finding the awesomeness within myself) but sometimes it's nice to hear how awesome I am from someone besides my friends. Obviously they think I'm awesome or they wouldn't be my friends. I want to feel special to someone else though, damn it.

     And since according to Constance, I run and hide and build walls, I would have to find someone who believes I'm worth the trouble. IF there are girls who are less complicated than I am, why wouldn't they get chosen? Who wants a challenge? What guy wants to slay a witch-dragon and cut down a forest? I know I'm worth it but I'm not going out of my way to convince someone who should just see it anyway. And anyway, not everyone 'gets' me. That = challenging.

Listen guys. Girls want to be chased sometimes.
CALL them. Have you called your girl today? Call HER!
TEXT them. When you think about them, send them a text.
Tell them they are pretty for no reason.
Kiss their hand or bring them a flower.
We like to be thought of randomly. And if you do think of us randomly, let us know.

I'm not saying you literally need to find a dragon to slay (ALTHOUGH I'm almost 100% certain it will get you laid). I'm just saying -- I want to be a little bit crowded. Well, if I've given you permission to crowd me, then I want to be crowded until I say quit.