bitt GOALS: losing weight.

I keep getting my heart broken.
I have the highest walls ever -- ask Constance. That bitch is ALWAYS trying to get me to open up and let someone in but I won't. Trust me, she's gotten annoyed with me more than once.

So whenever something happens that I am not mentally or emotionally prepared for, no matter how high my walls are, it's like a tornado coming in from the top. Whoa, I didn't build a wall there.
I keep getting got hurt and it's so stupid. I was doing SO good. I was happy and optimistic.
Life is killing my optimism. I'm tired of being hurt and tricked -- especially by people who really shouldn't be hurting me, who really should just leave me alone.

Trust me, it will not happen again -- and when I say that, I generally mean it.
I hate it when I'm weak. I'm so hard on myself.
Like, I want to cry sometimes and I fight it, tell myself I'm being a weenie and to pull myself together.
Do I do it? Yes.

It sucks though because I work so hard to be so strong and I just want SOMEONE I don't have to be so strong around. I want someone who will be strong FOR me sometimes.

Anyway!
Obviously my blog title doesn't say anything about being strong and getting my heart broken.
No, my blog title is about LOSING WEIGHT.
Wooot. :-)

So this past year, I've lost 26lbs by NOT doing anything different -- except a few diet and attitude changes.

26lbs is A LOT but it's less than I want to lose.
This 'broken hearted' thing has really motivated me to want to be better.

So I'm going to start going to the gym this week and working out. I went yesterday. I was going to go today but I had an emergency with my kids and couldn't make it. I am going to take it as a challenge to see how strong my will is.

I got this, guys.
My will is so strong right now.
It's amazing what pain can do for a person.


'Rumor Has It/Someone Like You' Glee mash-up. Love.